War Changes Everyone!
by Deanaholic1
Summary: Will Soda's experiences at war help Pony cope with what he has witnessed while he was at war? read and find out...much better than summary...: rated t for language..some twists, but centered round Soda and Pony bonding
1. Getting the Letter

1Hey everyone, I know I have like 3 other stories already but I have a brain block or writer's block w/e but anyway. This idea came to me just last night and has been bugging me ever since. So I decided to write it. I hope you like it, though it's probably been done before or something.

Pony- 18

Soda- 20-21

Steve- 21

Two-Bit- 23-24

Darry- 24

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**Getting the Letter**

I sat on the couch thinking. It had been almost 2 years since Soda had come home from the war. It had been two damn years that I've gone without my older brother. It had been hard on me and Darry, but he was back now so we had all forgotten about the war still going on. Of course Soda and Steve would remember something from the war and get a haunted look on their face but they were usually okay. But now as I sat on the couch with a letter in my hand I remembered the war with fierce reality. So I sat their that afternoon, looking at nothing. Thinking about how much my life would change now...just as it had changed Soda's and Steve's.

It felt good to finally be back. I'd been back for about 2 years. I didn't get to hurt at war, but sometimes thinking about it was to much to do. Anyway I had gotten my job at the DX back and the boss had let me off early because it was a real slow day. So I walked home, wanting to spend time with Ponyboy. I knew he had a job, but I also happened to know that he had gotten the day off. 

I pushed the gate open and jumped up the steps to the house.

"HEY PONY!" I yelled as I entered the house. I stopped and looked at him.

He was looking at the wall in front of him as if it held something that everyone couldn't dream of. I looked and found nothing. I walked over the couch and sat down next to him.

"Hey Pony, What's up?" I asked. He stayed quiet, and I noticed that he had that far away look in his eyes. After a few more seconds I saw him move his hand.

Without a word or even a glance Pony handed me a folded up letter. I took it with a sense of dread.

I opened it and immediately saw the United States Army logo across the top. I got more nervous but began to read the letter.

_Mr. Ponyboy Curtis, the United States of America here by calls upon you to serve your country in the U.S. Army over seas in the Vietnam War currently taking place. More information will be sent to you in future letters to come. As of now you are to report to Oklahoma City on March 31__st__ where you will be transported to the closest basic training camp. We hope that you are happy in having been selected to serve your country proudly._

_Sincerely, _

_The President of the United States_

I stopped reading, as the realization of what was happening set in. My baby brother was going to war. The very place that I spent 2 whole years of hell at. I saw so much there, stuff people wouldn't believe. Now my brother, my baby brother would witness something I wished he never would.

"I leave next week Soda."

I turned to him with surprise. Was March 31st really next week?

"What? No, it can't be." I got up and walked to the calendar on our refrigerator . I looked at sure enough March 31st was next week. Next Friday. It only left us with 9 days together. I walked back to Pony who was in the same position as before. I sat in front of him on the coffee table and looked him in the eye.

"It'll be ok–okay Pony. We'll get through this. Me and Darry will be here for you—just like you were there for me. I promise you Pony you won't be alone."

Pony looked at me with reluctance, "I know Soda. I just—I just wanted to forget about it."

I nodded in agreement. I sat beside him once again and put my arm around his shoulder. I leaned back and he leaned into me. Just like he had all those years ago when he had a nightmare. And that's how we stayed until Darry and the gang, well Two-Bit and Steve got home.

I knew there was something wrong as soon as I got home from work. Soda and Pony were sitting on the couch. Pony leaning into Soda as he leaned back. Neither really looking at anything. When I got home Soda looked at me with sad eyes. Pony didn't budge. I started getting worried.

"What's wrong with you two?" I asked as I studied Pony and Soda, more so Pony. He wouldn't look at me, didn't even realize I was there. He just stared at the wall.

However I did see Pony move his arm and grab a letter off the coffee table. Wordlessly he handed it to me. I was almost reluctant to open it. And I wish I hadn't. Because what I read scared me. Ponyboy was being called to war, just as Soda had been. But Soda was home now and I thought we would be a family again. But now the government was butting in again. Tearing us apart.

"Darry, what's going on man?"

I looked at Two-Bit not truely trusting my voice I just handed him the letter which he and Steve proceeded to read. They looked up when they were done. 

"It's bad enough Soda and Steve had to go, now Pony got's to too. That's bullshit."

Two-Bit looked mad and surprised at the same time. Steve looked at Pony obviously remembering his time at war. We sat like that, no one talking that entire night. When Pony went to bed we began talking. Soda was concerned, Two-Bit mad, Steve looked somewhat concerned and mad and I was just confused. Why did both my brothers have to go to war? It made no sense.

"I say we through the kid a party. I know some of his friends that'll come. He has to leave on Friday." Soda said, and Two-Bit and Steve perked up some.

I nod, "yeah, we did for you, just not to big."

Soda smiled a little and I knew that the party would be anything but little.

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**Friday Night, At Oklahoma City**

The day was here, the day I was being sent to basic training. I was nervous and sad and probably every emotion but happy. I grabbed my bag out of Darry's truck and put it on my shoulder. I ran my hand through my now buzz cut hair. I hated having short hair, but it was mandatory.

"Ready Kid?" Darry asked. I tried to smile but we all knew and felt that I was anything but ready.

"As ready as I'll ever be I guess."

Darry nodded and began walking. Soda put his arm on my shoulder as we walked. When we got the the sign in's for my section, I signed in. I was given a uniform and told to head to the bus after I changed. I fingered the uniform before walking away and back to the gang.

Everyone looked at my uniform. Soda was the first to break the silence.

"Come on Pony, I'll help ya. That way you won't get yelled at for not doing it right like I did on my first day." he grinned his Soda grin, and I had to grin back. I followed him into the changing rooms. I got into my uniform and he began telling me everything about how to make my uniform look correct. When we were done, it took a whole 10 minutes. I came out and Two-Bit whistled.

I laughed a little, and punched him. 

"_**All Soldiers reporting for duty head to the buses at this time."**_

I sighed, it was time. I looked at everyone, tears formed in Soda's and Darry's eyes. Soda hugged me first. Real hard 

"You come back breathing you hear me?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded and smiled through teary eyes. Darry was next and he too gave me a big hug. He whispered, "Come back safe little brother, write us when you get there."

I nodded to that too. Two-Bit made a wise crack about staying away from enemy women, but I knew he was saying to be careful in his own way. Steve told me to come back in one piece. Which shocked me a little. But we had been getting along now, and with him going to war he had changed some.

I started to walk to the bus, after I put my bag away I looked back at my family and waved a little and they returned it. I got on the bus and took a seat. I watched them as the bus drove me away from my family, from my home.

"Anyone sitting here?" I looked up to see a kid, probably around my age. He looked familar but I couldn't place it.

"Nope."

He nodded and sat down, "Names Randy."

It was then it hit me. This was the same Randy who had tried to drown me, but ended up being an alright guy. I looked at him.

"No shit, long time no see Randy. Ponyboy."

He looked surprised too, then laughed, "never thought I'd see you again Ponyboy."

I chuckled too, "me niether."

So on our way to the training camp me and Randy came to talking. He no longer was a snobby soc. By the time we arrived we had become somewhat friends. But I knew we'd become more. We'd become war buddies, and it just so happened we were in the same platoon.

Once we got settled the drill sergent blew his whistle.

"Ready to get the shit beat out of you Randy?"

Randy grinned, "well at least I won't be the only one Curtis."

I laughed and we headed to the training area. I felt a little better, knowing someone. Actually I knew a few guys that had been in my classes over the years. However I had a feeling me and Randy would become real true war buddies. And that along with my family back home is the only thing keeping me going.

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okay, so I hope it wasn't to bad of a story. I'll update Wednesday or Thursday, Friday the latest. I promise, if people like it that is. 

A/N I can't remember Randy's last name, if anyone could help me out..or did his last name ever get mentioned? Please help.:)

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	2. basic training

1So I'm back to update, because like I said, I'm having a writers block on everything but this story...I hope you like.

Also, to the reviewer saying that the youngest of the family can't be called to war, it's just a story and I don't care. Darry will keep the name going..but I hope u liked it anyway.

Also when you see, 888 that means there is a point of view change. They didn't appear in my last chapter, so I hope these will...:)

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**Week of Hell**

Basic training sucked, I absolutely hated it. I've never been so sore in my entire life. Track didn't even come close to comparing to this. Everyday we got up at 6 am on the dot. We trained all day until 9pm that night. My arms, abs, legs and everything else hurt. All though I'm the fastest in my platoon, and I've seen a begging of a smile on Sargent Calle's face when he had use run laps. I was the first done and got to take a break while everyone finished up. That is the only training I enjoy. 

"Hey Curtis, coming to dinner?"

I opened my eyes and saw Randy leaning over the top bed and looking at me. I threw a pillow in his face.

"Nah. I ain't hungry."

Randy grinned, "Man, you're never hungry. You eat like a girl."

"At least I don't look like one." I grinned. Me and Randy were really close now. In only a week I've gotten to know him, like I know anyone in the gang. I only know one other person in my platoon like that and his name was Rick. We buddy around like me and Johnny used to.

Randy jumped off his top bunk and grabbed me. We began to wrestle with each other. I was nothing serious and Sargent Calle said it was ok to do as long as it wasn't a real wrestle. So we did that for about 10 minutes before I got Randy into a head lock, just like Soda had taught me. 

"I give." Randy muttered and I released my hold on him.

I helped him up and he brushed himself off.

"Damn Curtis, where did you learn that move?"

"My brother Soda taught me. Said one of his buddies from his platoon taught him."

Randy nodded, "well I'm off to eat. I'll tell Rick you're skipping out. He said he wanted to talk to ya bout something anyway."

I nodded, "you know where I am."

After he left I sighed and went to the desk. I took out a pen and paper and wrote my first letter home. It took 10 minutes and I had just placed it in the mail box when Rick came in.

He was not much taller than me, brown eyes, skinny. He was a great guy. Him and Randy are the only two people I have here I can trust.

"Hey Rick, Randy said ya wanted something."

Rick nodded and he sat on the cot across from mine, as I sat on my cot.

He didn't say anything at first, but then he looked at me and said, 

"You know we only have 3 weeks left here right?"

I nodded, they were cutting the basic Training weeks because they needed more soldiers.

"I–I wanted you to promise me something okay?"

I was getting curious and nervous now, Rick was like Johnny, quiet, reserved but had a bad childhood, and kept things in.

"Sure, whatever you want pal."

Rick nodded, "promise that no matter what we always look out for each other. We have each others back in this 100 percent."

I released my breath I was holding, "shoot, of course I promise Rick. Scared the shit out of me, I thought something was wrong."

Ricked grinned sheepishly. Then once again I found myself in another wrestling match. 

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_1 week later_

I got home from the Dx. It had been 2 weeks since Pony left for training and we haven't gotten one letter yet. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried. I knew what Pony was going through, I had been there. I walked to the mailbox, not really expecting anything but bills. I opened the door an hated the silence. It was so quiet without Pony.

I began to thumb through the mail. I was almost through them all and still hadn't seen any familiar Army logo. However my spirits soared when I reached the last envelop and saw the logo I was looking for. I ripped it open, eager to see what was going on with Pony.

_Hey guys,_

_Well, Soda and Steve you were right. Basic training is hell. I hate it, I'm so sore. But the Sargent is impressed with my running which I guess is good. I've made two 'war buddies' so far. We're real close. Their names are Rick and Randy. And would you believe it was Randy Anderson? From all those years ago! Anyway, we're all real close, me and Rick more so than Randy and I. But I miss you guys. What's going on over there? Two-Bit get a job yet?_

_Well I better go, I'm tired. We are on our lunch break, but I ain't hungry, haven't been in awhile...(don't worry!). They've also changed our Basic Training weeks. We leave for the Southeast in 3 weeks. I just hope we're ready.__Well I got to go now._

_-Ponyboy Curtis_

I put the letter down. I checked the date on the letter an dit said March 7th. 

"Two weeks? Only two weeks before he goes. Only four freaking weeks of training, that's crazy!"

I started pacing, "and he's not eating, and doesn't want me to worry. But at least he made some good friends...ah, I'm talking to myself."

I through my hands up. I sat on the couch and got a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Pony back. When the gang got there I gave the letter to them to read. Each wrote their own letter..even Steve. And we sent it back.

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_1 week later_

it had been three weeks so far. Three weeks of endless torture. I was in good shape now, and had a good build, better than Soda I think. I was at the dinner table with Randy and Rick. I finished up, as the guys passing out mail came to our table.

"Curtis, Ponyboy?"

I raised my hand and accepted the mail. It was 4 letters, one from each person of the gang I assumed.

"Damn Curtis, got a girlfriend I ain't know about?" Rick whispered to me.

I chuckled, "if you call my brothers and friends that, I don't even want to know Rick."

Randy bursted out laughing. When he settled, he too got mail. Rick had a sad look on his face but it brightened when he received a letter from his girlfriend, Lora.

"I'm done. I'm heading to the bunks, see ya."

They nodded in response and continued to stuff their faces and read. I didn't know how they could eat so much of that stuff they called food.

I shook my head and sat on my cot. I opened the top letter,

_Hey Ponyboy,_

_Hey kid brother, glad to here you got some friends. I'm happy for ya. But what's this about not eating? You better start, I don't want you passing out on the field. We want you back home. Nothing that new is happening here. I got a promotion a few days back. Make better money for less hours. _

_I can't believe they are sending you so early. I think its irresponsible. You need more training._

_-Darry Curtis_

I shook my head. I was glad Darry got a promotion, he worked to hard anyway. I put the letter down and opened the next.

_Hey Kid, _

_Only four weeks of training huh? That ain't a lot. Me and Soda went through 2 months, but I guess things change. Anyway, um, write again. Good luck, I guess._

_-Steve _

I felt a little touched by Steve. He actually took the time to write me. Again I opened the next letter.

_Hey Pony,_

_Of course I ain't got a job Pony. Why would I when I can get free cake from you guys and my mom pays for my crap? I mean come on, I'm not stupid. Anyway, start eating, you're already a toothpick. Anyway, Mickey's coming on, so see ya._

_-Two-Bit_

I laughed, two-bit never ceased to amaze me. How he could live without working and making money was beyond me. I picked up my last letter, already knowing it was from Soda. His was the longest of them all.

_Hey Little Brother,_

_I'm glad you got's you some 'war buddies', I told ya, you would. And aren't I always right? Wow, Randy Anderson, that's surprising huh? At least ya get along now. I take it he ain't a snobby soc any more's._

_Now what's this with you not eating Pony? I know it ain't the best food, but if you don't eat, you could get sick. And they don't care. You go out sick or not, and I don't want you sick out there. Its dangerous._

_That's another thing. I can't believe they are sending yo out so early. It ain't safe, and four weeks ain't long enough to be prepared. You keep a good eye out Pony. Be careful, I want you coming home in one piece ya here? I ain't gonna lie Pony. After you see what goes on out there, you won't be the same. I may act it but I remember it from time to time. Just know that it ain't your fault, no matter what happens. And that we are here for you._

_Love, Sodapop Curtis._

I put his letter down. I always liked that Soda told me th truth. He had told me it would be hard and scary. But I didn't know what he meant when he said it wasn't my fault. But I didn't have time to think about it because Sargent Calle blew his whistle, ending our break. I sighed and got up. I wanted to be prepared as possible now and that meant training long and hard.

_**Okay, I hop that everyone liked this update. I won't update until I receive 5 more reviews, so tell friends! I appreciate each and everyone of them!**_


	3. the horrors of war

1Heyy, I'm back to update. I hope you like it. Thanks you to each of you who reviewed.

Mel- you are correct, we really don't learn much about American history. I'm in 9th grade rite now. I won't learn about American till next year. But thank you teaching me something new!

Ss- you are very good at guessing things, but you'll have to wait to find out exactly what happens.:)

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**The Horrors of War!**

_Dear Soda,_

_You were right Soda. I've never seen such a thing as I have over here. My buddies are dying and I can't do a thing. There are bullets going off everywhere I turn. So many people are dying...I've been having my nightmares again. I woke up Randy and Rick just last night when I screamed. I hate it here Soda. I really, really do. I just want to come home._

_-Love Ponyboy Curtis_

My heart broke as I read my little brother's letter. He had only sent me one this time, and now I knew why. My baby brother was seeing the horrors of war. He was witnessing death, injury and so much more.

"It'll be okay Pony." I whispered into the morning air. It was my day off, and it was times like this. Quiet and lonely did I miss Pony even more. I ran a hand through my hair. I was getting up when a cute little blonde came through the gate. She was quite the looker. Thin, blue eyes, blonde hair and average height. But her eyes were very pretty, they sparkled with life. She looked about Pony's age, maybe a little younger, but I wasn't sure.

I put on my best flirting face, "well hello there little lady, how can I help ya?"

She looked at me and she smiled. Her teeth were straight and white.

She stuck out her hand, which I accepted, "I'm Tessa. Is Ponyboy around? This is his house right?"

I was a little disappointed that she was here for Pony. But it quickly went away, when I realized a girl was here for Pony and Pony was at war. Just as he got a girl after him he get's drafted. It ain't fair.

I shook my head yes, but even though I was sad, I put on the happiest face I could.

"But he ain't here now. Out of town, do you want to come back in say a week and a half?"

She looked at me, thoughtfully. "Yes, I really would." she dug around in her purse, "could you give him this letter for me? I wrote it just in case he wasn't here."

I smiled and took the letter. "I sure will Tessa."

"Thank you." she said and walked away. A sway in her hips. I shook my head, she didn't like me, she liked Pony.

I went inside and wrote Pony back, and I also sent the letter from Tessa with it.

888

I hate it here. This is possibly..no this is the worse place I've ever been. We arrived two weeks ago. Once we arrive we were trained for another week before they sent us to the war front. My first day at war was Monday of last week. Now the following Monday, I don't feel any more comfortable with my lifestyle. I was just happy to have Randy and Rick.

"Hey Curtis!"

I sat up on my top bunk and looked at Randy.

"What you's want Adderson?" I grinned, we had been using each other's last names for awhile, because that what the Sargent called us by.

"You got mail...only one this time. What's the matter, no more girlfriends?"

I rolled my eyes. Ever since Rick had said that, they would joke about it when I got mail.

"You're an ass, you know that, right?"

Randy laughed, as did I. I sighed and grabbed the bed railings. I did a front flip over the bed and landed perfectly. I always had fun doing gymnastics.

Randy whistled and I turned to him, "what?"

"Never seen that before, that's for sure. How'd you do that anyway?"

I started laughing, "my brother Darry taught me and the gang...I could teach you if you wanted."

Randy thought a minute, "okay, but only if you get Crammer to."

I rolled my eyes, "come on Randy, you know Rick."

"Yup, which is why, I'm sure I'll never learn."

"We'll see about that."

Randy just shook his head and walked away. I went to the mail desk and retrieve my mail. Only one this time. From Soda, I presume. But it was fatter that usual. I walked back to my bed and got on.

I opened up the letter,

_Dear Pony,_

_Hey little brother. I know its hard over there. Trust me I know, but you got to hang on buddy. It'll get easier, but you'll never be comfortable with it. I had the same feelings you got's Pony. I hated seeing my buddies, people I knew dying right next to me. It's a horrible thing, this war is a horrible thing. You just hang in there, and when you get home, if you eve need to talk, you know I'm here for ya. I love you Pony, and I want you to remember that no matter what, nothing that happens over there is your fault. NOTHING!_

_P.S. a cute blonde stopped over today. Said her name was Tessa. She gave me a letter to give you. She's coming back in about a week and a half. I didn't tell her where you were. I wanted to tell you first, and see what you wanted to do. _

_Love-Sodapop Curtis_

I stopped reading. Why did Soda keep saying that? That is wasn't my fault? It's driving me crazy not knowing. 

"Tessa..." that was another thing. I don't remember any Tessa. I had only known one but she had moved when I was 16. We had dated on and off for awhile but that was it.

I shook the envelope and sure enough there was another letter. I opened it.

_Dear Ponyboy,_

_I don't know if you remember me. But I'm Tessa Auclair. If you don't maybe it's because I moved 2 years ago. But I wanted to talk to you. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I moved back to Tulsa..but not alone._

_Pony, I have a son. I have a 2 year old son. I have your son Pony. He's your's, I swear to you. _

_That was the reason we moved. My family wasn't happy with what happened and blamed the neighborhood. But I'm back now, and I hope that you will meet your son. He looks just like you. There's a picture on the back of the paper, I taped it there for ya. I hope we can become a family Pony. Me, you and our son, Ponyboy Michael Curtis Jr._

_Love, with all my heart,_

_ Tessa Auclair_

I dropped the paper, to shocked to comprehend anything at the moment. Tessa Auclair, one of my best girlfriends had come back to Tulsa, telling me I had a son, and I was at war. I was on the other side of the world for Pete's sake. With shaking hands, I turned the paper over, and sure enough there was a picture of a little boy. He had rusty colored hair, which looked to be greased back, a toothy smile and brown eyes. I didn't even have to doubt that he was mine because the resemblance was incredible. Carefully I pulled the picture off, and with care stuck it to my bed post. 

"I got to write back." I said and rushed off the reply.

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This time Pony's letter came quick, I had it in about 4 days. I tore it opened and began reading.

_Dear Sodapop,_

_I will hang in there. I want to come home real fast though. I miss you guys. Randy and Rick are good company and great buddies but nothing like you guys. I have to write quick because we're leaving to go the front-line in 10 minutes. But I need to tell you something._

_Soda, that girl that came by. Her name was Tessa Auclair. We dated awhile back while you were..here. Look I don't want you to freak but, she..she said that she had a kid. She also said that he was mine. I want you to find out for sure, for me. Although she did send me a picture(I'll copy one for you to have with this letter) and he does look just like me. I'm scared Soda. What if the kid is mine? She named it after me. I mean, I'm here, I'm at war. I..I don't know what to do._

_P.S. can you tell Tessa I'm here. Be gentle, she is a very emotional girl, which is why I loved..love her so much. Thank you so much Soda, for everything, I just hope I come back to talk to you and everyone._

_-Love PonyBoy Curtis._

I dropped the letter, unknowingly copying Pony's actions. After I got over the initial shock I searched in the envelope for the picture, which I found. I looked at the rusty haired..2 year old? He looked so much like Pony it was unbelievable.

With shaking hands I fingered the picture, "DARRY!"

Darry came out of the kitchen, with a chicken in his hands.

"Yeah Soda?" he looked at me, a little concerned.

I got up from the couch and walked over to him, taking a deep breath I said,

"who does this look like to you?"

Darry studied the picture, and then looked up at Soda again, "Pony..he looks like Pony."

Soda nodded, "it's hi's son Darry. Pony has a god damn son."

Darry dropped the chicken he had been holding. "Y–you sure?"

"I think so. A girl named Tessa—"

"Tessa Auclair?" Darry interrupted.

Soda nodded slowly.

Darry shook his head, "I don't believe it. She moved about 2 years ago. Just before you got back. She told Pony she had gotten some news and..."

Darry stopped letting it sink in. Soda also let it sink it. There was a knock on the door a minute later. Soda went to it and opened it. There stood Tessa Auclair and the little boy seen in the picture.

"Hello Soda. Is Pony around? Wait, you did give him the letter right?" Tessa asked with concern.

Soda nodded, "we need to talk though."

She looked skeptical at first but nodded and entered the house. She saw Darry and smiled

"Nice to see you Darry."

Darry nodded, "you to Tessa."

Tessa sat down, moving the sleeping boy in her arms into a more comfortable position.

"So, I uh, guess you know that Ponyboy here is Pony's son?"

They both nodded, "I'm really sorry if I caused a fight. I just wanted Ponyboy to see his father and..."

Soda shushed her, "it's okay. We need to talk to you about Pony."

She nodded, and Soda took a deep breathe, "Pony... he got drafted about a month ago. He's at war right now. We wrote him and I gave him the letter when I mailed mine. He wrote back saying he was happy and that he still loved you."

Tessa broke down in tears. Soda's try to calm her by telling her that Pony said he loved her and was happy didn't work.

"This isn't fair. What happens if Pony doesn't come back. I just wanted to see him. I want POnyboy to have a father..." she continued to go on. And Soda and Darry let her. After she calmed down, she apologized. They talked for a little while before she left. Saying..

"I need time to think."

After she left Soda turned to Darry, "that went well."

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we are out on the field right now. I saw an enemy or goon as we call them sneak towards Rick. I got worried and fired my gun. I hit the man in the head. Killing him instantly. Rick looked over and smiled thankfully. I nodded. However I couldn't believe I had killed a man. This was the first man I had killed, and I knew there would be many more. I Ponyboy Curtis was a murderer, in my eyes at least.

I didn't have time to think though because the goons were coming on strong. I took a deep breath and fired again.

_Boom! _**One Dead **_Boom! _**Two Dead**_ Boom! _**Three Dead.** That was how it went for many hours. So many I lost track. When we finally got the victory we were aiming for we returned to camp. I went to bed that night, awaiting nightmares I knew would come.

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so I know it was a weird chapter. But I love a Pony daddy story. But don't worry it won't effect the story, because I have a plan that I want it to go in.

Thanks to all who review!


	4. Distractions are Fatal

1Heyy, so many were worried about the last chapter, but this chapter will take 7 months later, so POnyboy has been at war for almost 8 months. This chapter will clear things up for everyone..I hope!

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**DISTRACTIONS ARE FATAL!**

_7 months later..(Ponyboy at war-8 months)_

It had been 8 months so far. 8 long months I've been in this hell hole. Everyday I kill someone. I feel so guilty. I haven't told anyone about my guilt, not Randy, Rick, Darry, the gang..or even Soda. But it is eating at me. 

It's been 'okay' for what it's worth. I even convinced Rick to learn some flips and stuff, so I made Randy do it as well. Now we do them all the time..just to show off.

"Hey Curtis, mail's here."

I looked up at Randy who had a grin on his face. It had been awhile since I got any letters. But I guess it's my fault. Because after I killed my first enemy, I didn't feel the same. I hadn't replied to anyone's letters for about a month. Eventually I did but it still took me awhile to reply. Soda is the only one I really reply to I guess.

"How many Adderson?"

"Two...Rick over here got 3. It's a new record."

I looked at Rick who was smiling a little. Lora was really the only one who wrote him.

"Oh yeah, who they from Rick?"

He shrugged, "Lora, her mom and my sister."

I nodded. I remembered him telling me he had a sister. She was only 9 but from pictures you could see she was cute.

"Nice."

He nodded, "what about you Pony?"

It was my turn to shrug. I looked at the envelops, "Soda and...Tessa?"

I hadn't heard from her in like 7 months. I assumed after Soda told her she just stopped with me all together.

"The one you had the kid with?" Randy asked. Him and Rick were the only one's here that knew about Ponyboy Jr. 

"Yeah. I haven't heard from her in 7 months though."

I shrugged and put the letters in my uniform pocket. When I finished eating the bland food, I went to my barrack for my platoon. There were only 10 of us left and that included me, Randy and Rick.

I saw that one of the guys was on his bed, so being a show off, I did a front-flip onto my bed. He looked at me amazed before looking away, embarrassed that I saw him looking. I didn't care. I could do all sorts of things now. Randy, Rick and I are always practicing. We could do front-flips, back-flips, front and back tucks...and more.

I sighed and took out the letters. I decided to open Soda's first.

_Hey Ponyboy,_

_ I'm getting worried about ya Pony. How come you haven't been writing much. The gang and Darry are starting to get worried too. We hope you're okay...you are right? I miss you Pony, we all do. That's why we like getting letters from ya. I hope what ever's going on over there, you would tell me about it. I know you, and from your letters you have sent, I know something's wrong. You can tell me anything Pony. I love ya little brother. _

_ Love-Sodapop Curtis_

I shook my head. Leave it to Soda to figure out something's bothering me, while I'm half way across the world. My brother knew me way to much. I put that letter aside, deciding I would reply this time. I opened the one from Tessa, I was curious..very curious.

_Dear Ponyboy,_

_ I'm sorry I haven't told you anything in awhile Ponyboy. I've been thinking. And even though I love you, I can't wait. I can't sit each day wondering if you'll come home dead or alive. I need Pony Jr. To have a father. And even though you are his father, you can't actually be here for him when you at war. I guess what I'm saying is, that I'm not going to wait for you Pony. If you come back and you find me in Tulsa, I'll be over happy. But I might be with someone else, like I said I want Jr. To have a father. Anyway, I won't stop you from seeing your son, but I won't be looking for you Ponyboy. I can't._

_ I will always love you,_

_ Tessa Auclair_

I wasn't expecting that. Tessa wasn't going to be there when I came home. Hell she doubted I would even COME home alive! I guess I was lost in my thoughts because next thing I know Rick's hand is in my face waving it madly. I shook my head and looked at him and grinned shyly. 

"You okay, Pony?"

No, of course not, "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. But I guess I should have known better. Rick can read me inside out, almost like Johnny could. He pinned me with that look, telling me he knew I was lying.

"No, I guess not."

He nodded and sat on my bed, "what's up?"

I distractedly handed him the letter from Tessa. When he was done he looked at me.

"Tough man. That just sucks. Because you're serving your country, she thinks it's horrible and that she shouldn't wait for you. Just go and find the kid some other dad. That's crazy."

I smiled at Rick, that was exactly what I was thinking, "yeah, but I can't get over that she taking Jr. ya know. I mean he's my kid, I do want to see him. But I'm gonna have to track her down to be able to see my son."

I shook my head, and we stayed silent. 

"Well, let's take you mind off it for now, Ping Pong?"

I laughed, Rick was like that. He could be funny when you needed to laugh, "yeah, in a minute. I want to right home first."

He nodded, "it'll be fine Pony."

I snorted, "yeah, but Rick you have Lora waiting for you when you come home. I ain't got no girl now."

He looked sad, "no but you got a family Pony, and I'd give anything for that."

I felt a little guilty, Rick's parents didn't care about him, his sister, Rose was the only true family he had.

I nodded, "yeah, I guess you're right."

He smiled, "you guess, or you know?"

I rolled my eyes and threw my pillow at him, "get out of here, I'll be there in a minute."

He laughed, "I'll save us a table then.

When he walked out of the barrack, I sighed and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper.

888

I was playing cards with Steve, trying to get an ace out of my pocket without him seeing when Darry came in. He was going through the mail.

"Soda!"

I looked at him, "from Pony. It's addressed to ya."

I nodded and put my cards down and retrieved the letter.

_Dear Sodapop,_

_ Sorry I'm worrying ya'll. I don't know I guess I have a lot on my mind right now. I...I feel...I feel, I don't know. I don't like killing people, even if they're shooting at us. I feel dirty like I don't belong here anymore. Like I' not myself anymore. I don't know. _

_ Tessa wrote me today. She said she was leaving. She said she didn't want to wait and see if I come home alive or dead. I keep thinking about her, Rick said I seem real distracted. I'm trying not to be to distracted but I think I am. I don't what to do anymore Soda. I just don't._

_ Love-Ponyboy Curtis _

"Bitch." I said aloud. I couldn't believe Tessa. How could she sat that. I looked up to see everyone looking at me. I don't swear to often.

"What's wrong with ya?" Asked Two-Bit, looking from me to the letter, to Mickey on TV.

"Tessa. She said she wasn't waiting for him. Didn't want to see if he came home alive or..or.."

I couldn't say it. I didn't want to say it. Pony was going to come home safe and alive. Steve put a hand on my shoulder.

"Well, the kid don't need her then."

I nodded, "I'll be back, I'm gonna write him."

I got up and wrote my letter to Pony. I told him it would be okay, it got better. Because I knew all to well what it felt like for someone you love the give up on you.

888

ii just finished reading Soda's letter when the alarm sounded. It meant that we were being invaded. I looked at Randy and Rick and we all got into action. We grabbed our helmets and guns and followed the rest of our platoon. Me, Rick and Randy were stationed together. We were doing good. But my thoughts kept drifting to Tessa. 

"Pony Look Out!"

I didn't know what was going on but I felt Rick tackle me to the ground, just as a shot was fired in my direction. I sat up quickly and looked at Rick. There laid one of my best friends. Dead. A bullet straight to the head.

"No.no.no.no.no." I kept muttering, until I felt a fire explode in my chest. I looked down to see my blood seeping through my uniform. I had been shot in the chest. The last thing I saw before I feel into the comfortable darkness was Rick's unseeing, dead eyes starring at me. I knew that I would never be the same again, not after this. I should have known distractions are fatal.

888—2 and a half hours later

I woke with a groan. Glory did my chest hurt. It still felt on fire. It wouldn't lessen at all.

"Hey Pony...Pony you awake?"

I turned my head a little but not much because it hurt like hell. I saw randy sitting there with a worried expression on his face. It was then I remembered Rick.

I took a big breath, which was hard considering I could barley breath.

"Rick— he's—dead."

Randy looked sad, very sad and I knew it was true, one of my best buddies had died again..but this time it was my fault. It was all my fault.

"But, you'll be fine Pony. You got to. I can't lose you too."

To say I was shocked was an understatement, of coursed most of it was actually shock from getting shot, but Randy being serious was..wasn't normal.

I nodded, it hurt way to much to breathe, let alone talk. I tried to ask Randy where we were going with my eyes, and for once he noticed.

"We're leaving. You need surgery, real fast. We get to go home Pony."

I looked at him a little confused.

"I broke my leg. I get to come home too."

I looked at him we stayed silent because we knew Rick was coming home too, but in a casket..and all because of me. My head began to get fuzzy, I was falling unconscious again. I heard Randy calling me, but it was like I was in a tunnel and kept getting farther and farther away.

"Pony..."

888

I was home with Darry, Steve and Two-Bit. The radio was up full blast, trying to drain out the silence I guess. I still miss Pony.

Me and Steve were wrestling when the phone rang. 

"I'll get it!"

Steve let go saying I was a wimp. I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Umm, yeah hi. Is this the Curtis's place?"

I was confused, no one really called it that, "yeah..."

"Umm, is Ponyboy's brothers there?"

I was getting worried now, I ran a hand through my hair, "I am his brother. I'm Sodapop."

"OO..yeah well...Ponyboy, he uh, you see he got."

"He got what? Who is this?"

"I'm Randy. I'm Pony's buddy."

"Yeah he's mentioned ya. Now what wrong with him?"

"He was shot...he was shot in the chest. He pretty touch and go right now. We're on our way to Oklahoma Hospital. He needs surgery to repair everything...Can you meet us there?"

I stopped my pacing, my eyes wide. Ponyboy..shoot? Touch and go? "Y–y—yeah we'll be there."

"Okay, good. We'll be there in about half an hour."

"It'll take us an hour."

"He'll be in surgery when you get there."

"T–tell him we'll be there soon and to hang on."

"I will if he wakes up again."

"O–okay, bye."

"Bye."

I numbly put the phone down. Everything was quiet, minus the radio. Steve got up and shut it off.

"What's up Soda, you look like you seen a ghost."

Ghost–dead people..Ponyboy."

That set me into action pretty fast. I ran around the house looking for my shoes. 

When I found them I shoved them on, and raced back to the living room. Darry was standing in front of the door.

"Soda what's wrong?"

I stopped, tears formed in my eyes.

"Pony..."I whispered.

It seemed to get even quieter. Darry walked over to me, and put his arm around my shoulder.

"What's wrong with Pony, Soda?"

I looked up, tears running down my face, "h–he was shot. Th–they don't know if he'll make it. We have to go to Oklahoma Hospital, NOW!"

Darry's face went slack, "wh.."

I rubbed my eyes furiously, "let's go, now!"

Darry shook his head and nodded, he grabbed the keys and we went out the door, Two-Bit and Steve in tow. On the ride all I could think of was Pony.

_Hang on little brother, hang on._

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I hope you liked it...:)


	5. Gun SHot

1Hey everyone, I'm really happy with the fact that you guys enjoy reading my story.

SS-thanks for that awesome review, it made me happy.

SS buddy, thanks to you too, :)

and anyone else that review anno. Thank you very much.

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**The Never Ending Gun Shot**

I jumped from Darry's truck before it came to a complete stop in front of the Oklahoma Hospital. I ran to the front desk and a pretty nurse looked up, startled.

"C-Can I help you, Sir?" she asked.

I nodded, still out of breath, "M-My brother, my little brother. He was at w-war and we got a call saying he was shot. They said he was here for surgery."

I shoved my hands into my pockets, trying to keep them steady. I watched the nurse..Patty turn to the computer.

"Okay we have two surgeries going on right now. Who may I ask is your brother, sir?"

"Ponyboy Curtis." I said, I was getting real nervous, I did okay under pressure at war, but now it seemed like I couldn't handle the stress.

"Okay Sir, well I can show you the way to the waiting room for those in surgery. A doctor will consult you after the surgery is complete."

I nodded, "I umm, just have to wait for my family, I kind of rushed in here without them."

I grinned sheepishly, and she laughed but nodded. I stood waiting and as soon as Darry and the guys were walking through the door I shouted,

"Guys, over here!"

I looked at the nurse who had on a laughing smile. She got up and began to lead the way. I began to fallow her, Darry and the gang jogging to catch up. Once we were there, I thanked the nurse.

I looked at the gang. "Don't ever do that again, Soda. I ain't need two brothers in the hospital ya know."

I grinned sheepishly, "sorry Dar, guess I was just anxious to get to Pony."

He nodded and smiled, "yeah, did she tell you how long the wait would be?"

I shrugged, "she, didn't say anything but the doctor will consult us when he's done."

He nodded, but I could tell by his tense muscles that he wasn't doing any better than me at keeping calm.

We all sat down and were silent. It was then a kid, about Pony's age walked up, sporting a casted leg, and crutches. However it was the army uniform that set him apart. He stood in front of us for a while.

"Holy shit, your ape face." exclaimed two-Bit. We all looked at him and he just grinned.

The kid looked thoughtful for a second before chuckling, "yeah, I'm Randy. I guess you guys remember me then, huh?"

So that's who it was. It was Pony's soc friend Randy. "Yeah, plus, Pony's mentioned ya a few times. Also mentioned a guy named Rick, I think."

His face grew sad, all traces of a smile gone, he nodded and looked away, "yeah, we lost Rick on the field though."

I gaped at Randy. The 'war buddy' Pony had talked so highly about in his letters home was dead. He would be absolutely crushed.

"H–H–How?"

He looked reluctant to tell, "shot." was all he said and I felt as if he was holding something back.

After a few moments of silence Randy asked to sit, I agreed and moved over for him to sit.

"Did they tell you anything about Pony, Randy?"

He tensed up a bit, "yeah, they said the bullet looked to have puncture his lung. That and muscle tissue. He said that Pony would be sore for some time, and he wouldn't be able to use his arm very well, until the muscle healed properly...but they said he went into shock from blood loss, and that he had a rare type so it was on low storage."

My concern notched up a level, "what does that mean?"

He looked me in the eye, "that if they don't repair the bleeding, he'll bleed to death."

It got eerily quiet, "d-d-die?"

He nodded, a clouded emotion on his face. "But I know Pony, well not as much as you guys but. He's a fighter. He won't give up, he can't."

I nodded, I too, knew that was true but that didn't lower my concern. A hundred different scenarios were running through my head.

888-4 and a half hours later.

A Doctor walked through the door. We all sat up and waited for him to announce who he had operated on.

"Ponyboy Curtis?"

I stood up quickly, everyone following suit. Randy had some help from two-Bit.

The Doctor nodded and extended his hand, which we all shook.

"If you'll follow me, we can talk more privately."

So we followed him to a different conference room where we all took a seat.

"I'm Doctor Krane. I was the surgeon that repair young Ponyboy."

We all went off, telling our names to him, though he looked skeptical at Two-Bit.

"How's Pony?" I asked, not able to resist any longer.

He sighed, "lucky. He's in recovery right now, but he has had extensive blood lose. We are trying to push more blood into him as we speak, but as you know, he has a rare blood type. One we don't take much storage of."

I interrupted, "we have the same blood type."

He looked at me, "are you willing to donate?"

I looked at him as if he was stupid, "of course, he's my brother."

He nodded, "okay, we will do so after we discuss Ponyboy's condition."

I nodded, and he continued.

"Well, the gun shot Ponyboy received, punctured his left lung. It caused it to fill with blood, which we drained. The lung was repaired properly. However the bullet also tore a lot of muscle tissue when it exited the body. It exited at the top of his left mid-left back. The muscles that were torn, are connected to his left arm, but we are confident that with some hard work, he can regain full use of his arm. I guess the only thing concerning us is his blood loss, at the moment, and the risk of infection."

Everyone was still quiet. But Soda got up the nerve to ask,

"Will he be okay?"

The doctor sighed, "I can't honestly answer that with a yes or no. there are many risks with low blood pressure. For example.."

However he did not get to finish his sentence, for a thin, blonde nurse burst through the room. Heavily panting, from running all the way from the top floor ICU to the 3rd floor, of the waiting/conference room.(hospital has 8 floors.)

When she had enough breath she said, "you..need. To come quick...his BP is dropping..he's showing signs of...cardiac arrest..."

"Shit!" was all the Doctor said, before he was on his feet, moving to the door. However he stopped and turned to Soda.

He pointed his finger to Soda, "you, come with me. We need to harvest the blood now."

Soda didn't need to be told twice, even in his dazed state. A nurse just barges in saying that Pony was getting worse, and that he could help. And he sure as hell would!

The others went to get up as well, "stay here." ordered the doctor, and they all sat down, albeit reluctantly.

So with that, the nurse, Doctor Krane and Soda were running to the elevator. When they were inside and going up, Soda began to fidget.

The doctor turned to him, "I need you to stay calm, and out of the way. You donating blood is the only reason I'm allow you to stay with him."

Soda nodded, happy to have been given the privilege. What seemed like an eternity passed as the three people stood in the elevator. When the doors pinged and opened, all three were running to Pony's room. Soda was last, having no clue where to go.

They entered Ponyboy's room, and Soda's breathe caught in his throat. Ponyboy, his little brother was laying, still, lifeless on the bed. His skin as white as the sheets, and his breathing coming in short, quick gasps.

"Okay, I want this man hooked up to an ivy, he's donating blood. He's Ponyboy's brother. And I'm relying on his word that they have the same blood type. Right now, we need to open the iv completely. I want the blood being pushed into him..NOW!"

With that, the room set into action, Soda was pushed to a chair, where a nurse placed a needle within the crook of his arm. Soon his blood was dripping into a bag, which would be hooked up to Pony, and hopefully save his life.

"I want a Ventilator, in here now...a crash cart to be safe."

Soda looked to Ponyboy, his heart clenched in his chest. He hated to be helpless. Even though he as, he want to hold Pony and have everything okay. But he couldn't.

888-10 minutes later.

A nurse taped my arm with a band-aid. I said thanks and returned my gaze to Ponyboy. He had been placed on a ventilator and it was hard to see, that Ponyboy was to weak to breath himself.

I just watched as they pushed my blood into Pony's IV. Now all I could to pray, pray that my gift to Pony saved his life.

888-2 days later

It had been 2 days so far. Ponyboy, was doing much better. They said, if I hadn't been able to donate blood, that Ponyboy's BP would have bottomed out, and...

But no need to think about that. Ponyboy had been taken off the ventilator and was now awake. He would be going home in 2 more days. I spent as much time with him as possible. I noticed that him and Randy had a lot of whispered conversation, ones' that left them both in a sad mood. But Pony hasn't been himself since he woke up. He has a far away look in his eyes, but behind that it looks like guilt. But he won't open up to me.

I walked into Ponyboy's room, smiling.

"Hiya Pony. How you feeling?"

I asked, I asked him all the time, but hey I'm a big brother, it's what we do, right?

"Fine." was all I got for an answer. He didn't look at me, but stayed slouched in the hospital bed.

I dragged a chair over to his bed, and put my feet on top of his bed. Smiling when he finally looked at me.

But I turned serious, "what's bothering you Pony? You know I can tell, don't ya?"

He shook his head, his eyes clouding over, "nothing Soda."

He turned his head from me and we sat in silence. I wish my brother would open up.

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hope you liked the update, it's almost done, I'm sad to say. I'm thinking maybe two more chapters, and maybeeee and epilogue.

So review pleas


	6. Its my fault

1Hey guys, well I feel that last chapter, went a little fast, so I've decided to slow it down a bit, which might mean shorter chapters...oh, yeah, I've decided that I'll do more than 2 more chapters, I'm think 4 or 5 and an epilogue. Hope you like it.

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**It's My Fault**

It's my fault really. It's my fault my best friend, Rick is dead. My fault, all of it. Everything is my fault. Johnny and Dally, and now Rick, they are all dead because of me. I doesn't matter how much Randy tells me it's not my fault, it is, because I know the truth.

"Hey Pony."

I looked up, not feeling any emotion really, but I smiled at Soda anyway. I guess he still has that affect on me.

"What have ya been up to Pony?"

I shrugged, this, blaming myself, is what I've been doing all day, but I won't tell Soda that.

"Hmm." he said before going into the kitchen for cake I presume. Which left me to my thinking again, boy did I hate that. I thought way too much and it usually ended with me all messed up and...argh I'm doing it right now!

I sighed and got, following Soda to the kitchen, and just as I thought he had the chocolate out, and was eating it with a glass of milk. He grinned when I walked in. I guess because I haven't been very social since I got home, not in the hospital or since I got home yesterday. I was still sore, my arm was in a sling, but it still hurt.

I sat down and reached across the table for the cake, with my good hand. I saw Soda looking at me, with a happy look, something he usually wears when he's proud or something like that. I choose to ignore it.

I was about the put the cake into my mouth but stopped, "who made it, Soda?"

I knew from experience that Soda's cake were way too much sugar for me to handle.

He laughed, "Darry. And what's that supposed to mean?"

I shrugged, "nothin, just that he don't dump a bag of sugar into. So I can eat it without feeling like I'm gonna pass out from a sugar-overdose."

Soda tried to look offended, but of course couldn't. However he punched me on my good arm, and it hurt my chest. I know he didn't mean to, but any that moved my chest muscle, hurt, and that included my arm, even the good one.

I tried to conceal my grimace but I don't think I did, Soda stopped and instantly looked guilty.

"Oh my god Pony, did I hurt you? I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry. I..I ..."

I waved my hand at him, "it's fine Soda, just sore is all."

He nodded, but still looked guilty, and I felt bad. But I decided that at least trying to act as normal as possible would fix that. So I plopped the cake in my mouth.

I chewed it, and I knew right away, that Darry had NOT made the cake. I gagged on the sugar load, and got up to the garage can. I spit out the cake.

"Soda...you are such a liar!" I looked at him. He had on a huge grin, which I was somewhat thankful for. Even though I'm sad all the time, I hate seeing Soda guilty or sad. I guess I don't like anyone sad or guilty I guess, besides myself.

"Who? Little old me?" he asked, with a mischievous grin.

I shook my head, and got a glass of water. Which I drank to get rid of the taste in my mouth. I sat back down, not even looking at the cake.

After a few minutes Soda spoke up, "hey Pony?"

I looked at him, already having a guess of what he was gonna ask.

He looked at me, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Soda. I'm fine." I said, I knew he was feeling guilty.

"That's...but I mean, how are you DOING? You aren't yourself."

Ohh, so that's what he meant. He wanted to know why I felt so guilty, so dirty, so..not myself. Well I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone.

I shook my head, "fine Soda, just fine." I said trying more to convince myself than him.

He look skeptical, not believing me at all. He was about to speak up when I looked ta the clock. Half past 12, his lunch break was over in 5 minutes. And it took 10 minutes to get to the DX if your walking.

"You're gonna be late Soda." I said, and pointed my head towards the clock.

Soda looked and his eyes widened, "oh my God, I am!"

He got up and started towards the door, but turned around, "can you clean up please Pony?"

I nodded yes.

Once he had run out the door, I began cleaning, and I promptly threw the cake away. No one liked it when Soda made it. It was too sugary, I don't know how he ate the stuff.

After I was done, I noticed that the mailman, had delivered. With nothing else to I went outside. I skimmed through the letters. I sat on the couch while flipping through the mail. The last piece of mail was addressed to me...and it was from Austin, Texas.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach I opened the letter,

_Dear Ponyboy,_

_hello, POnyboy. My name is Lora Winderfil. I don't know if you know me or not, but I am...was Rick's girlfriends. He told me about you and Randy Adderson in letters. He said that you were very close. But he also told me if anything should happen to him, God bless his soul, to contact you and Randy. So I'm honoring his wishes. I would like to meet you and Randy here in Austin. We are holding a funeral service on April 6__th__ and a wake on the 5__th__. The wake will be at 5 p.m and the funeral at 7 p.m. rick always loved the night time. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you, and hope that you will be there. I have invited Randy also._

_ Sincerely, Lora Winderfil_

_P.S. if you attend you can stay at my house in the guest room. 35 Maple Road. Also the funeral will be in army remembrance, please wear your full army attire._

I dropped the letter on the table and ran a hand through my hair. This was the day I was dreading. Attending yet another friend's funeral. I will surely go, and Randy will too, I know he will. My guilt rose again as I though about Lora and Rick. How Rick had talked about proposing when he got home.

I sighed and got up from the couch, deciding to call Randy. I was glad Soda left, it gave me privacy. I sat down wit the phone and was about to pick it up to dial when it rang. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Ponyboy? I'm glad I caught ya. I wanted to talk."

I laughed, "yeah me too, I was just about to call ya."

"Freaky." he laughed, "anyway, I got's some news."

"What?"

"I'm moving back to Tulsa man."

I brightened up a bit, at least then I would have a buddy, not that the gang weren't but it was different.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I'm on my own, so I only have my army check. I was actually looking to rent a house on your street, you know the white one."

I thought a moment, "oh yeah, that'd be sweet man."

"I know, but I don't have enough doe, so I was wondering if maybe you would want to, ya know..um"

I caught on, "you want me to rent it with ya?"

"Yeah, what do ya say Pony. I mean I know you got your brother but, its only down the street and."

"Dude, slow down. Sure I'll split the rent with ya."

"Oh, good. So I already talked to the lady, I told her you would get in touch. If you do like right now, we can move in tonight."

I though a moment, a house, just me and Randy. It sounded good, if only Rick were here.

"Yeah, I will, so get on over here." I stopped getting sad once more, "we got to talk."

He sighed, "you got the letter from Lora too?"

"Yeah."

"Can you believe the wake's in 2 days?"

"What?" two days? That's it?

"Yeah, we'll go together man, no sweat...you know it wasn't your fault Pony."

I sighed, "yeah."

He sighed, very well knowing I though different.

"I'll see ya tonight Pony."

"Ya."

Randy thought it wasn't my fault, but it was. It was all my fault

I sighed and got up, I got my army check and head down the street. I'd talk to Darry and Soda later. I was renting a house, I wouldn't be such a downer any more. Maybe they're better off without me there anyway. Maybe...just maybe.

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I hope you liked it, next chapter, soda and darry find out bout the house , and the funeral!!


	7. House and Funeral

1I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATING, BUT SCHOOL HAS BEEN ON OVERLOAD, AND I'VE HAD MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK, SO I HOPE U LIKE THIS.

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**A House and Funeral?**

I folded the remaining cash I had gotten after finishing the rent for mine and Randy's house. It cost 550 all together, so I paid 275. It left me with a good chunk of money left. I don't understand why Randy couldn't afford it. However I didn't care really. I think it'll be nice.

I walked up the porch steps and stepped into the house, shocked as hell to see Randy sprawled out on the couch. He looked up at me and grinned.

"You sure move fast." I said and walked over to sit down. I rested my arm on the rest carefully.

Randy chuckled, "dude I was already in Tulsa when I called, I had a feeling you'd agree."

"Oh, I see. You just assumed I'd go along with this whole thing didn't you?" I looked at him, one eyebrow raised, as Two-Bit had taught me.

"No never." he said with sarcasms dripping from his voice.

That was how I spent my afternoon. A pleasant afternoon in a long, long time. It wasn't until 5 we decided to move stuff into our house. So for the next hour me and Randy worked together bringing stuff down the street. Which was hard with me and a bad arm, and Randy with a broken leg. But we made due eventually. When we were done, we collapsed on the couch. After a few seconds of silence we looked at each other and burst out laughing. Realizing how ridiculous we probably had looked.

It was then Soda, Darry, Steve and Two-Bit came in. We both looked up and Saw Soda and Darry looking at me, with a relived, happy, expression.

Two-Bit ruffled my hair, and I promptly swatted it away.

"Gee, kid. I didn't think you still knew how to laugh. Of course with your lack of humor it's no wonder." Two-Bit said with a wide grin on his face. I smiled and as he walked by stuck my foot out. He tripped over and fell flat on his face. The entire room burst into laughter, at Two-Bits expense of course.

He got up, trying to look hurt, but off course failing, "your lucky you hurt. Cause I would have just wrestled your ass to the ground."

I looked at Randy, we both remembered our wrestling with each other, and with Rick. My smile faded, as did Randy's.

I sighed, "can we talk for a second, Soda?"

He looked worriedly at me, but of course agreed. He followed me to my room, which was empty. I opened to the door and motioned hi in. He went in and stood in the middle of the room, surprised, written on his face.

"Where's all your stuff Pony?" he looked at me, and I rubbed a hand over my face.

"Me and Randy rented a house down the street, Old Lady Widrel's Place."

He looked at me with wide, surprised, shocked eyes, "what? Why?"

I shrugged, "cause he asked, and I feel like I'm just dragging everyone down." I said quietly, Soda stopped and starred at me long and hard. Slowly he walked over, and put his hand on the back of my neck, like Dad used to.

"You're not Pony, you're the reason we're still here. Trust me you ain't bringing us down."

He then hugged me, carefully and gently. It didn't hurt, thank god. I nodded, forcing tear back.

"Yeah, well. I umm, just needed a change of scenery I guess." I looked ta him, asking him to understand. He nodded.

"So that's what you wanted?"

I shook my head, "me and randy are leaving tonight...for Austin, Texas."

Soda pinned me with a caring look, asking me why.

"Rick's funeral, is in two-days, and its about a day's drive." I explained, Soda looked concerned again but nodded.

"You want any of us to come?"

"No, I want you to know him through pictures of us when we were together, not seeing him..."

"Don't worry Pony, I understand."

I nodded my thanks and hugged him again.

After a few seconds, "how do I tell Darry?"

"YOUR WHAT?"

I cringed, and Soda looked helplessly at me, "I think Randy already told him Pone."

I nodded, and we both carefully walked into the room. There Darry stood, disbelief written on his face as he starred at Randy with a hard expression. I stepped up,

"Lay-off Darry. I agreed."

Darry looked at me, "Lay-off? Pony, you just got home from war and the hospital ,and you want to leave? What you don't think this house it good enough anymore? What is it?"

I looked at Darry, somewhat hurt, I just stood silent, thankfully Soda stood up for me.

"Darry, stop. He's 19, he's not a kid anymore. Sides it might do him some good, a change you know."

Darry shook his head, "whatever." he said and walked away. I caught his arm though,

"Me and Randy are going to Texas tonight."

His eyes got even bigger, which I thought was impossible, "what could you possible need to do there that's so important?" he said, well more spat.

I looked at my shoes, "Rick's funeral." I whispered.

I saw Darry relax, and knew he felt guilty. "Sorry Pony, I didn't mean."

"It's okay Dar, really."

I said it, but of course knew otherwise, I took a seat. Soda and randy pinned me with a look, telling me they knew I was not okay.

888- later that night

I sighed as I sat down on the swing outside. I was watching the sunset, before me and Randy left for Texas. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the screen open up.

I turned around, and wasn't surprised to see Soda. He sat down next to me, but didn't talk for a few minutes.

"Are you gonna be okay with this?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"Ain't no walk int the park, if that's what you mean."

He huffed and smiled but looked in my eyes, " it'll get better Pony, I promise."

I sighed, everyone kept saying that, but no one really knew. Sure Randy saw it but he does no how it feels. To know your best friend died, to save you, because of you.

"I guess." was all I said. Soda put his arm on my shoulder and squeezed lightly. I smiled.

"We better get going." I said and got up. Soda nodded and followed me inside. Once me and Randy left, it was like 9:00.

On the ride over there, we talked about anything that came to mind, even talked about Rick some. The next day we arrived at a big farm. We pulled up to a large white house, draped in flowers. I shared a glance with Randy and we both got out. Randy was slower of course. We walked up the stone walk way, looking at the variety of flowers planted along the pathway. Once we got to the doorway, Randy and I stopped.

"Now or never I guess." I muttered under my breathe.

"No one knows but us Pony, it wasn't your fault."

I sighed and shook my head 'no' but I rung the doorbell anyway. We waited for about 2 minutes before the door opened and we saw two ladies. One I knew was Lora, and the other Rose. Both had red-rimmed eyes. Sure signs they had been crying.

I cleared my throat, "umm, hi Lora and Rose. I-I'm Ponyboy, and this is Randy."

Lora smiled through teary eyes. She grabbed me into a hug, which hurt a lot, ut I held in my groan. She did the same to Randy. Then to my surprise Rose threw herself onto me. Her little arm rapped around my waist. There I heard her cry, and felt the tears run through my shirt.

I crouched down, "shh, hey. I know Rick. He wouldn't want you to be sad. He'd want you to smile. He was always saying how pretty your smile was."

She looked up and sniffed, "R-R-Really?" she asked, with a hint of hope in her teary eyes.

I smiled, "of course. Me and Rick were best buddies." I said, trying hard not to let my voice crack, from grief or guilt.

Then Rose smiled, and I knew why Rick had said her smile was pretty. Her face seemed to glow with her white teeth. I carefully picked her up. Even though she was 9, she was little, and I easily held her to my uninjured side.

"Come on in." Lora said and dabbed a tissue to her eyes. I let Randy in first and then I carried Rose in. Once we all got settled, Lora told her all about how she had gotten custody of Rose. We got to know each other real well. And Rose had taken a good likening to me, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't also. She was so much like Rick.

888-Wake

me and Randy stood in line with Rose and Lora, during the service. Everyone had tears down their faces, which didn't exclude me or Randy. It was so hard to look at the casket, even with it closed. I could still see the bullet hole in his head. I knew what it looked like, and I knew why it was there.

I felt a pull on my good arm and looked down at Rose.

"Yeah Rosey?" I used her nickname I had come up with, she smiled slightly.

"D-Did Rick hurt?" she asked in a small voice, and I heard Lora gasp, but I could tell she was wondering the same thing.

I shook my head, "No sweetie, he didn't hurt, he went peacefully." it took all I had to hold the truth from them, it was unfair to them.

She nodded her head, "good, I don't like it when Rick is hurt."

I smiled and ruffled her hair. That night when I was in my room, I cried myself to sleep. I cried for Rick, I cried for Johnny and Dally, and for my parents. I cried for me too, because I was the one to blame.

888-Funeral

the funeral was harder than the wake. The preacher spoke many good words about Rick, all of which were true. Randy and I were asked to speak about him. We both agreed. Randy had just ended his speech, and it was my turn. Taking a deep breathe I went up. I looked out at the small group of people grieving.

"_**Rick was a good friend. He was always there when I needed him. He knew me just as much as my family. He had a way of reading people. He could tell if you were happy, sad or just, content. He made all of us feel good. He always wanted to help. We had each others back all the time. It's so hard to believe that he's gone, but I know he's watching over all of us. He's our guardian, who'll protect us throughout our life."**_

I stepped down and took my seat once again. After all the speeches were said, me, Randy and 4 other guards fired off rifles. Then me and Randy folded up a flag, and I got down on my knees. I gave it to Lora. I got up and kissed her cheek,

"He loved you Lora, he wanted to marry you, never forget him ok?"

She looked up, tears making there may down her cheeks, "never."

I smiled. The next day, me and Randy were to head out. We spent time with Lora and Rose . Rosey was upset when I was getting ready to go. So I went into my bag.

"I want you to hold onto something for me Rosey. Okay?"

She looked at me, and nodded.

I pulled out my dog tags. I had two, carefully I took one off, I got a piece of string and put it on. Then I put it around her neck.

"You hold this until I see you again okay?" I asked her.

She nodded and threw her arms around my neck, which hurt but I didn't care. I hugged her back. I looked at her through the rearview mirror as we drove away, and I knew I would be back, because Rose was the person, I needed to feel like Rick is still here, because in a way, she is him.

I hope you like...:)


	8. The ENd

SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATING

SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATING. I RELLY REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS UPDATE!

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**Dealing with Guilt **

It had been 6 months since Rick's funeral. Randy and I kept in touch with Lora and Rose. Rose invited me to her 10th birthday party and I agreed to go. So was so happy to see me. I let her keep my dog tag, telling her that only when she marries that she was to return it. She thought it was the most wonderful gift. Until I gave her the battery operated jeep for her birthday.

"Mr. Curtis?" a small voice spoke.

I looked up and smiled, I had been through college, passing my classes in advance time, the army even agreed to pay for my intuition. I was now an elementary teacher. I taught grade, because of Johnny really. His letter from all those years ago, telling me about Robert Frost's poem, inspired me to help young kids.

"Yes Jeremy?"

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, he was a very shy little boy with a very light heart.

"Of course. What do you need?"

Jeremy shifted on his feet, "my brother's friend said that you knew this p...polem about gold. What is it?"

I laughed and stood up. "Okay class, settle down. Jeremy has asked me something. I think it's a good idea if I read you a poem to you. It is my favorite poem and I hope you like it. Then, how would you feel about drawing a picture about what you imagine when I read the poem to you?"

"YEAH!!" the class roared. Little children really loved coloring, and drawing.

"Okay, some of these words are really big, so if you're confused let me know. Now put your head down, close your eyes and just imagine something as I read the poem."

The children all listened and I smiled at how innocent they looked.

"Okay the poem is called, 'Nothing Gold Can Stay'."

_Nature's first green is gold,_

_Her hardest hue to hold._

_Her early leaf's a flower;_

_But only so an hour._

_Then leaf subsides to leaf._

_So Eden sank to grief,_

_So dawn goes down to day._

_Nothing gold can stay._

"Okay class, any questions?"

A little girl, Sarah raised her hand. "Sarah?"

"Why is a leaf called a flower?"

I smiled, "that's up to you. Everyone can think of their own way to picture this poem. So let me hand out paper. I want to know what it made you think of."

After school I looked over the papers, all colorful and unique in their own way. I gathered my things, got in my car and headed home. I dropped my stuff off and found a note from Soda saying to come over to Darry's house.

I walked over to my old home and everyone was there.

"Hey Pony." Two-Bit grinned.

"Heya Two-Bit. What's up?"

"Well the ceiling of course."

I rolled my eyes and sat down. And soon I was in a poker game. We were listening to the radio when a newscaster announced something that made us all stop.

"THE VIETNAM WAR IS OVER. The war was declared over this morning…"

The room was quiet, no one talked. It got me thinking. Only 6 months. Six damn months and Rick had died only 6 months. He never got to see the war finally end. Didn't see Rose's 10th birthday. I put my cards down.

"I'm done." I said quietly and got up.

Steve muttered something and I got angry.

"What did you say Randle?" I turned around to glare at him.

Steve huffed but he too stood up. He walked over, his face a mere inches from mine.

"I said that you should get over yourself. Me and Soda went to war too, but you don't see us mopping around. Get over it Pony. You went to war, your friend died; it's happen to all of us. You act like every bad thing happens to you. Boo hoo, my friend died in war. Newsflash pony. Tons of people die in war.-"

I lost it. My fist flew at Steve's cheek. I was enraged beyond all belief. Steve stumbled back, and clutched his cheek.

"Yeah Randle, a lot of people die in war. But I bet you didn't know that Rick died saving my sorry ass." I seethed. I looked at everyone. All eyes were on me. I turned around and punched the wall.

"I'm leaving." Was all I said as I slammed the door shut, and began walking to the park.

888

Everyone was looking at the door where Pony had just exited. I couldn't really think. Were Pony's words true? Had Rick really died trying to save Pony? I turned to Randy who had chosen to stare at his feet.

"Randy…What is he talking about?"

Randy looked up, "it's not my place to say."

He said before he got up and walked out the door. We all stood staring at nothing. I turned to Steve, my anger rising.

"Steve, what the hell was that? Why the hell did you say that to him?" I yelled.

Steve shrugged his hand still on his cheek. His lip was bleeding and a bruise was already starting to form.

"I don't know. I didn't mean for the kid to get so mad."

I shook my head, "whatever. You guys stay here; I'm going to go find Pony."

Everyone nodded, but I could tell that Darry wanted to come. I left the house, heading towards the park. Pony always went there to think. I walked into the park and saw Pony on a swing watching the kids play. I wordlessly sat down on the swing next to him.

That's how we stayed for a while. The only noise was the soft creak of the swings, and the laughter of the children.

"They're so innocent. They don't know what's going on. I wish I could be like them. Carefree." Pony said after some time.

I stopped swinging and turned my swing towards him.

"What happened Pony?" I asked gently.

Pony shook his head sadly, "we were being invaded. I was real distracted from a letter I got from Tessa. She wasn't going to wait for me and I guess I just got lost in my own head. Anyway I guess some loon shot towards me, and I wasn't paying attention. Rick pushed me out of the way. He got the bullet in his head. The bullet that was meant to kill me."

I looked at Pony, pure guilt was written on his face. I felt bad for him.

"You know, I know how you feel. My friend Jeff, we were real close. One day when we were attacking I saw a loon shoot towards Jeff. I didn't do anything to warn him. Frozen in fear I guess. The bullet went right through him. It wasn't until I saw him fall did I shoot the loon. I went over to him but I knew it was to late. He died because I didn't kill the enemy. I haven't told anyone that, not even Steve."

Pony looked up at me, "why do bad things always happen to the people we care about?"

"I don't have an answer for you Pony. No one does. It's just the way the world works I guess. The only thing we can do is keep living. Keep living for all those people who can't."

Pony nodded, "I guess you're right. I know right wouldn't blame me, it's just…I wish he was here. I wish mom, dad, Johnny and Dally were all still here. We've lost so much."

I looked at him and smiled sadly, "we all wish things were different Pone. I mean look at you, you're a teacher at a school, and you and Randy are good friends. And you always have me, Darry, Two-Bit even Steve."

Pony nodded and smiled. It felt good to see him smile. "Yeah Soda, I guess you're right."

I laughed, "I'm always right Pony. If you ever need to talk let me know. Now come on I made some cake."

Pony groaned and I laughed before I wrestled him to the ground. I was shock to say the least when he ended up pinning me down.

"Gees Pony, didn't realize you were so strong." I said.

"Nah, it's just cause you're so weak." He said with a grin. He then jumped up and ran back to the house. Me chasing him the entire way.

888

Well here I was, Ponyboy Curtis sitting at Rose's wedding. Hard to believe 15years have gone by. She was a very pretty young women and she looked more like Rick than ever. I smiled at her and she ran over to give me a hug.

"You look beautiful." I whispered in her ear.

"Rick would be so happy." I said with a smile.

She returned the smile, "I'm glad you came."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world.

After that she went to finish dressing up and I returned to my seat where my wife Carrie and my two girls; Rainbow and Candy sat. Randy and his wife, Stella, and their only boy; Nathan sat next to us.

We watched the ceremony go on, and I smiled the entire time. At the reception after the two newly weds danced Rose grabbed the microphone.

"I want to dance with a person who has been with me for a very long time. I look at him as a father I guess, because we all know how horrible my actual one was. So I wan to have my father daughter dance with my brother's good friend, Ponyboy Curtis."

I looked at her and smiled. I kissed Carrie and stood up. Me and Rose danced to 'I loved her First' and I thought about Rick looking down on us smiling.

"_When she first smiled at me, I knew a love of a father runs deep. And I prayed that she'd find you someday. But it's still hard to give her away. I loved her first."_

I smiled and looked at Rose; to me she was like my daughter. I saw her grow from a child to a woman in 15 years. I looked up at the sky and smiled, I knew Rick was watching.

After the song ended I kissed Rose on her cheek. She then unties a string around her neck that I had not notice before. She pulled out my dog tag from all those years ago.

"This belongs to you Pony. Thank you so much for letting me keep it all this time."

"You kept it? Rose, I... you truly are a part of me. You are like my daughter."

She smiled, "I know. I love you Ponyboy."

I smiled and she kissed my cheek before walking away to her husband. I looked down at my dog tags. I smiled, wondering what would have happen had I never met Rose.

"Maybe life isn't always bad." I whispered. I then walked to my family, and my life.

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Ponyboy and Carrie lived together for many years to come. Carrie died at age 77, and Pony at the age of 81. He never did meet his son.

Darry married Cadence and had twin boys; Michael and Patrick. He lived to be 89, and lived in his childhood home his entire life.

Sodapop ended up reunited with Sandy and married her. They had 1 girl named Angel.

Sodapop died at 85.

Two-Bit never married but led a happy life until his death at 79.

Steve and Evie married but divorced after 10 years. They had no children. Sadly Steve died at age 56 from cancer.

Randy married Stella and had one boy; Nathan. Randy died at 76.

Rose and Ponyboy stayed in touch for many years to come. She visited often with her two children; Rick and Ponyboy. Ponyboy gave her his dog tags before he died and she treasured them for everyday of her life. She died at age 99 with a smile on her lips. She would be meeting Rick soon.

FIN

I hope you liked this last chapter.  
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